Stupid dreadmill!!!

We had 4 miles on the training schedule today...and it snowed! So, I had a choice to make: skip today's training or take on my nemesis...the dreadmill!!!

All day long I had been dreading it, anticipating it, and avoiding it! My attitude was horrible ALL DAY LONG! I was grouchy and hateful...all because of a dreadmill! Then I remembered reading something about changing your mindset about things that you dislike, and you might just end up liking that thing.

So...I decided to try it. Each time that my mind started thinking about how much I hated being inside "running in place", I would change my thoughts. I would concentrate on my pace, think about my breathing, etc. I would also increase the speed and challenge myself to go longer at that pace than I thought that I could.

Truth is...the verdict is still out! I did it...I ran the 4 miles! That is much longer than I have been able to do before...so changing my mindset did help. I am not in love but I did like the feeling of accomplishment.

Now, if I can just change my mindset on vegetables...

Forward or backwards...which do you want?

I was talking to a friend today and she made a statement that I have been considering all day long.

It was: "Nothing ever stays where it is because you have to either move forward or backwards".

As much as I know this to be true, it kinda makes me sad. Oftentimes when we go through a particularly rough time in our life, we come to a comfortable, peaceful place. When this happens, I want to stay here...FOREVER! I want to bask in the serenity of this place. For once, I want to live in the moment!

However, I know that it won't last forever. I know that God will give me another challenge to suffer through and grow. I know that I will be in a "desert season" again. God doesn't want us to get stagnant in our journey. He wants us to grow.

I also know that if I choose not to move forward and grow, then I am really moving backwards. Who wants to go backwards? Back to learn tough lessons AGAIN, back to open old wounds AGAIN, back to yesterday...

Not me! I also realize that if I move backwards, and everyone around me is moving forward, then I am going to get left behind. I DEFINITELY don't want that!

So, I will enjoy this moment...this time of peace and serenity...because I know that change is a coming!!!

Living in the moment...but looking at the future

I stated on my last post that I wanted to look back at my 2010 wishes to see how I did. So, here it goes:
1) Begin each day with prayer and meditation (not as consistently as I would like but definite improvement! My relationship with God is increasing daily and I LOVE it!)
2) Choose a volunteer program and start volunteering (Mostly accomplished this through my hubby's "Handyman Ministry"- would like to improve this next year)
3) Journal (Definitely improvement! Not perfect but definitely better)
4) Exercise at least 3 days a week (Yes! Woohoo!)
5) Finish a triathlon (YES!!! So proud!)
6) Stop smoking (YES!!! This is the one that I am most proud of!)
7) Pay off all debt except house, then start paying it down (YES! Working toward saving more and paying down the house)
8) Invest more for retirement (Hmmm...not so much!)
9) Take a family ski trip (Yup...and it was a blast! Thanks sis for the use of your cabin!)
10) Take a family trip to Costa Rica (We are leaving on December 29th until January 6th- SO EXCITED!)
11) Be kinder (I definitely believe that I have improved a lot here)
12) Think more positively (Most days!)
13) Take more weekends trips alone with my hubby (We took 4 weekend getaways alone! Yay, us!)
14) Stop procrastinating (Truthfully, not much improvement here...maybe next year)
15) Maintain balance in all aspects of my life (ABSOLUTELY!!! Now, I crave more family time)
16) Take a Zumba class (Not yet...but I still have 24 days left in the year
17) Sign up for Spanish lessons (Uhhhh...no beuno)
18) Declutter my life (Hmmm...somewhat...I'll add this to next year also)
19) Stay on a budget (Better, much better)
20) Perform one random act of kindness a day (I did really poorly on this one! Maybe next year?)

So there it is! I think that I will give myself an A- because the ones that I did accomplish are HUGE! I think 20 wishes are too many. I need to narrow it down for next year. In general,though, I am pretty darn proud of myself!

Now...looking at 2011...we have created a challenge for ourselves that I am so very excited about. We have named it the "Charity Challenge of 2011". Basically, we (hubby and I) are competing in one race event for each month of 2011 AND raising money for a charity throughout the year. I am so excited!!! We already have our preliminary schedules ready. We have been praying about the charity for a couple of weeks because we REALLY wanted God to guide us on this. We have considered numerous charities. Finally, we feel that God has lead us to FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes). We asked God to send us signs for discernment. We got many signs leading us to this organization. We feel that it is a way to give back to our immediate community. Also, we are doing an athletic challenge so it seems to make sense that we would support a Christian athletic charity. It just "feels" right...and that feels like discernment to me! Please continue to pray that we are listening to God's guidance.

(I thought that I would attach a copy of my preliminary schedule.)

Through your eyes...

Well, I am finally trying to find my way back to the blog world. This "writer's block" shut me down. I would think about blogging but just couldn't follow through. So, here I am...hoping that I can do it again.

As I was looking over my 2010 Wishes, I realized that there were so many things that have changed in my life the past year. The fact that I FINALLY kicked the smoking habit is my most proud moment of the year!!! It hasn't been easy but I am amazed at how much my life has changed by making that ONE change! In my next post, I want to go over my wishes- which ones that I accomplished and which ones that I didn't. I also have a HUGE plan for 2011 that I want to share. In this post, there is something else that is heavy on my heart.

Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine. She was saying how she wasn't where she thought that she would be at this point in her life. She recently went through a divorce, is now a single mom, works part-time and is going to college to finish up her degree. She has many friends that are married and/or already in their careers. She made a statement about how she feels that I have it all together. She thinks that my house is so organized, that I have a successful business, a husband that loves me, good children, etc., etc. Wow!!! Is that how my life looks from the outside???

If so, then I want to be the person that she sees through her eyes!!!

Side note: I want to say that I am so proud of my sweet friend. She is not taking the easy way out! Her life is tough right now but she is not giving up! She is doing what she needs to do to make a better life for her boys and herself. She is sitting back and allowing God to make the changes in her that HE wants. All of this to say...I am so proud of her and cannot believe the changes that I can SEE every single day! Her transformation is amazing...but she is already a beautiful butterfly!

The point that I am wanting to make with all of this is the grass always seems greener! The truth of the matter is that we don't know what REALLY is going on INSIDE that person's life. Most of us present a pretty package to the outside world. Society teaches us to keep our "garbage" to ourselves because no one wants to see/hear it. For the most part, I agree. I mean, you don't want to walk around all gloom and doom or complaining about every part of your life that needs to be fixed. There is a fine line between being REAL and being socially acceptable.

I typically choose friend that allow me to be REAL. Between my husband, my kids, and my business, I don't have a lot of expendable time. With that time, I want to spend it with those who are willing to be REAL, not just present the "pretty package" to me. My FRIENDS know me...the REAL me...warts and all!!! What makes that even more special is that they still love me!

So, no...I don't have it all together! There are so many areas of my life that need to be decluttered and organized. (Please don't look in my closets or drawers if you come to visit!) Often times, I am a mental mess! I have a million and one thoughts going through my head at any given time...and many of these thoughts contradict one another. I don't think that anyone has it ALL together. I do think that some people have their life figured out more than others. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. These last two years have been the toughest of my adult life. However, I am so thankful for the trials and tribulations that I have gone through. God has really broken me down...and continues to do so daily. I can feel him molding me and building me back up to be the person that HE wants me to be.

Hopefully, some day I can be the person that you see through your eyes, my sweet friend! Some day...