Stupid dreadmill!!!

We had 4 miles on the training schedule today...and it snowed! So, I had a choice to make: skip today's training or take on my nemesis...the dreadmill!!!

All day long I had been dreading it, anticipating it, and avoiding it! My attitude was horrible ALL DAY LONG! I was grouchy and hateful...all because of a dreadmill! Then I remembered reading something about changing your mindset about things that you dislike, and you might just end up liking that thing.

So...I decided to try it. Each time that my mind started thinking about how much I hated being inside "running in place", I would change my thoughts. I would concentrate on my pace, think about my breathing, etc. I would also increase the speed and challenge myself to go longer at that pace than I thought that I could.

Truth is...the verdict is still out! I did it...I ran the 4 miles! That is much longer than I have been able to do before...so changing my mindset did help. I am not in love but I did like the feeling of accomplishment.

Now, if I can just change my mindset on vegetables...

Forward or backwards...which do you want?

I was talking to a friend today and she made a statement that I have been considering all day long.

It was: "Nothing ever stays where it is because you have to either move forward or backwards".

As much as I know this to be true, it kinda makes me sad. Oftentimes when we go through a particularly rough time in our life, we come to a comfortable, peaceful place. When this happens, I want to stay here...FOREVER! I want to bask in the serenity of this place. For once, I want to live in the moment!

However, I know that it won't last forever. I know that God will give me another challenge to suffer through and grow. I know that I will be in a "desert season" again. God doesn't want us to get stagnant in our journey. He wants us to grow.

I also know that if I choose not to move forward and grow, then I am really moving backwards. Who wants to go backwards? Back to learn tough lessons AGAIN, back to open old wounds AGAIN, back to yesterday...

Not me! I also realize that if I move backwards, and everyone around me is moving forward, then I am going to get left behind. I DEFINITELY don't want that!

So, I will enjoy this moment...this time of peace and serenity...because I know that change is a coming!!!

Living in the moment...but looking at the future

I stated on my last post that I wanted to look back at my 2010 wishes to see how I did. So, here it goes:
1) Begin each day with prayer and meditation (not as consistently as I would like but definite improvement! My relationship with God is increasing daily and I LOVE it!)
2) Choose a volunteer program and start volunteering (Mostly accomplished this through my hubby's "Handyman Ministry"- would like to improve this next year)
3) Journal (Definitely improvement! Not perfect but definitely better)
4) Exercise at least 3 days a week (Yes! Woohoo!)
5) Finish a triathlon (YES!!! So proud!)
6) Stop smoking (YES!!! This is the one that I am most proud of!)
7) Pay off all debt except house, then start paying it down (YES! Working toward saving more and paying down the house)
8) Invest more for retirement (Hmmm...not so much!)
9) Take a family ski trip (Yup...and it was a blast! Thanks sis for the use of your cabin!)
10) Take a family trip to Costa Rica (We are leaving on December 29th until January 6th- SO EXCITED!)
11) Be kinder (I definitely believe that I have improved a lot here)
12) Think more positively (Most days!)
13) Take more weekends trips alone with my hubby (We took 4 weekend getaways alone! Yay, us!)
14) Stop procrastinating (Truthfully, not much improvement here...maybe next year)
15) Maintain balance in all aspects of my life (ABSOLUTELY!!! Now, I crave more family time)
16) Take a Zumba class (Not yet...but I still have 24 days left in the year
17) Sign up for Spanish lessons (Uhhhh...no beuno)
18) Declutter my life (Hmmm...somewhat...I'll add this to next year also)
19) Stay on a budget (Better, much better)
20) Perform one random act of kindness a day (I did really poorly on this one! Maybe next year?)

So there it is! I think that I will give myself an A- because the ones that I did accomplish are HUGE! I think 20 wishes are too many. I need to narrow it down for next year. In general,though, I am pretty darn proud of myself!

Now...looking at 2011...we have created a challenge for ourselves that I am so very excited about. We have named it the "Charity Challenge of 2011". Basically, we (hubby and I) are competing in one race event for each month of 2011 AND raising money for a charity throughout the year. I am so excited!!! We already have our preliminary schedules ready. We have been praying about the charity for a couple of weeks because we REALLY wanted God to guide us on this. We have considered numerous charities. Finally, we feel that God has lead us to FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes). We asked God to send us signs for discernment. We got many signs leading us to this organization. We feel that it is a way to give back to our immediate community. Also, we are doing an athletic challenge so it seems to make sense that we would support a Christian athletic charity. It just "feels" right...and that feels like discernment to me! Please continue to pray that we are listening to God's guidance.

(I thought that I would attach a copy of my preliminary schedule.)

Through your eyes...

Well, I am finally trying to find my way back to the blog world. This "writer's block" shut me down. I would think about blogging but just couldn't follow through. So, here I am...hoping that I can do it again.

As I was looking over my 2010 Wishes, I realized that there were so many things that have changed in my life the past year. The fact that I FINALLY kicked the smoking habit is my most proud moment of the year!!! It hasn't been easy but I am amazed at how much my life has changed by making that ONE change! In my next post, I want to go over my wishes- which ones that I accomplished and which ones that I didn't. I also have a HUGE plan for 2011 that I want to share. In this post, there is something else that is heavy on my heart.

Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine. She was saying how she wasn't where she thought that she would be at this point in her life. She recently went through a divorce, is now a single mom, works part-time and is going to college to finish up her degree. She has many friends that are married and/or already in their careers. She made a statement about how she feels that I have it all together. She thinks that my house is so organized, that I have a successful business, a husband that loves me, good children, etc., etc. Wow!!! Is that how my life looks from the outside???

If so, then I want to be the person that she sees through her eyes!!!

Side note: I want to say that I am so proud of my sweet friend. She is not taking the easy way out! Her life is tough right now but she is not giving up! She is doing what she needs to do to make a better life for her boys and herself. She is sitting back and allowing God to make the changes in her that HE wants. All of this to say...I am so proud of her and cannot believe the changes that I can SEE every single day! Her transformation is amazing...but she is already a beautiful butterfly!

The point that I am wanting to make with all of this is the grass always seems greener! The truth of the matter is that we don't know what REALLY is going on INSIDE that person's life. Most of us present a pretty package to the outside world. Society teaches us to keep our "garbage" to ourselves because no one wants to see/hear it. For the most part, I agree. I mean, you don't want to walk around all gloom and doom or complaining about every part of your life that needs to be fixed. There is a fine line between being REAL and being socially acceptable.

I typically choose friend that allow me to be REAL. Between my husband, my kids, and my business, I don't have a lot of expendable time. With that time, I want to spend it with those who are willing to be REAL, not just present the "pretty package" to me. My FRIENDS know me...the REAL me...warts and all!!! What makes that even more special is that they still love me!

So, no...I don't have it all together! There are so many areas of my life that need to be decluttered and organized. (Please don't look in my closets or drawers if you come to visit!) Often times, I am a mental mess! I have a million and one thoughts going through my head at any given time...and many of these thoughts contradict one another. I don't think that anyone has it ALL together. I do think that some people have their life figured out more than others. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. These last two years have been the toughest of my adult life. However, I am so thankful for the trials and tribulations that I have gone through. God has really broken me down...and continues to do so daily. I can feel him molding me and building me back up to be the person that HE wants me to be.

Hopefully, some day I can be the person that you see through your eyes, my sweet friend! Some day...

More couponing tips

I guess you can tell that I have been avoiding blogging lately. It appears that I have a bit a "writer's block" and I'm not even a real writer. So I am making myself blog tonight to try to get over it.

I have really been studying and doing this couponing thing. Last week, I saved right under $100 on grocery items. We don't eat a lot of processed foods so I think my initial plan of cutting our grocery bill by 70% may be a little ambitious. However, I am good if I can cut it by at least 50%. I am including toiletries and household supplies in my grocery bill. I want to add to the "couponing tips" list that I blogged last time. Here are a few more tips to follow when couponing:

*Do not use the coupons in the Sunday paper on the day or week they come out. Typically, these items will go on sale in about 2-3 weeks. That's how you get the most bang for your buck.

*Sign up with www.southernsavers.com and www.savingwithamy.com. These two websites will send you the best deals each week and how to combine the coupons to get the most bang for your buck.

*You can use one store coupon and one manufacturer's coupon on one item. The Publix near me will accept all store coupons not just Publix.

*Introduce yourself to the store manager at the store you plan to shop and ask him/her to explain the store's coupon policy. Often times, the manager can make the policy. So, policies can vary from store to store.

Hopefully, I will get past my "writer's block" soon and will blog about the changes taking place in my life right now. Until then...enjoy the tips! I would love to hear about any couponing successes this week. Send me a comment below!

What a wonderful day

It's Friday which means it's my day off! I LOVE taking Fridays off for many reasons. The main one is because I get the house all to myself. It's quiet! The TV is off! I have taken the past 2 Fridays to thoroughly enjoy my morning time and also get some "special" cleaning done. During my morning time today, I made a wonderful breakfast and ate it while reading from my Sony Reader. Then I cleaned the downstairs. My "special" cleaning was pulling the stove out and cleaning under it! Ewwww! It's a gas stove so, luckily, I didn't explode the house.

Then I went to my couponing class tonight with my friend. LOVED IT!!! So, my first tip to everyone is gather your coupons. There are many ways but here are a few:
*Go to the stores and pull all of the coupons from the isle in those "blinking" machines. These coupons are actually referred to as "blinkies".
*Get the Sunday paper. DON'T cut all of the coupons out. Put a sticky note on it with the date and put the whole coupon insert in an accordion file.
*Go online to various websites such as coupons.com. There are printable coupons online. If you have certain products that you buy, google coupons for them. You can find a coupon for most all products.

Now these are just a few ideas. I have other websites and ideas. I'll post more later.

Last, tomorrow is the HOT 100. This is a 100 mile bike ride. However, you don't have to do the whole 100 miles. I am riding the 33 mile route and my hubby is doing the 66 mile route. Keep us in your prayers!!!

Please post a comment below!

Being REAL

First, I gained 1.2 lbs this week. *Sigh* It really stinks but I can't change it...so...I am accepting it and moving on. Two factors worked against me this week: 1) I didn't do very well with my eating plan. I had way too many "treats" and way too many carbs, 2) I worked out more than I have been. One is a good thing and one is not so good. But, like I said, I am moving on. I can't change the past. I can just do better this week.

***Warning: This is me being real! If you can't handle it, stop reading now.***

I am a recovering perfectionist and control freak. Most days I do pretty well. Other days I revert back to my old ways. Last night at church, our leader talked about leaving old behaviors, hurts, "baggage", and anything else that God asked us to leave behind. If God asked us to do something, that we should do it on trust and faith in him alone. We should not ask why but we should just do it because God is our leader and we are his followers. We should follow on blind faith. That his plan is better than ours and he knows what he is doing. Well, if you know any perfectionists and/or control freaks, that's not easy! Our leader asked us to take some time and meditate. At this time, she prayed and asked us to ask God what he wants us to leave. Because I still "slip" up at times, I took control and started asking God..."Do you want me to leave this? Oh, or is it that? No, it's probably this" (you get the picture). Then a soft voice says to "Shut up". Oops, sorry God! So I sit there quietly, trying oh so hard to sit quietly, and listen for Him. Finally, he says "Get out of my way". Huh?

My hubby and I have been out of sync lately. His business is slow right now. I think he should be doing X,Y,Z. When he doesn't, I am let down. A couple of weeks ago, we had strong "discussion". I realized that I have certain expectations of "what a man should be and do". He finally said to "Write it out for me. Let me know what your expectations are." What I also hear, not sure what words were used, was that he may not agree or be able to meet my expectations but he wants to see what they are.

Now, with all of that being said, I realized that I was trying to be God. I wanted him to be my version of man. So, God was kindly asking me to "Get out of His way" because He had work to do and I was messing it up. So, as hard as it will be for me, I am going on blind faith. I am going to trust that God can do what I can not. I'm scared...because I can't control it. I am scared...because I don't know what is on the other side or how it will "look". But...I am going to trust because he really does know better than me.

If you are still reading, please leave a comment below.

These are a few of my favorite things

My husband and I are doing a bike race on Saturday. Tonight we went for about a 10 mile ride for training. At one point we were flying down a hill at about 25 miles an hour. It was such a rush...and so scary too! If you have ever seen a racing bike, the tires are so very skinny. One mistake and I would have been a goner! Luckily, I wasn't thinking about that. I was completely and totally enjoying the moment! It took me back to childhood when we would ride our bikes EVERYWHERE. We would go flying down a hill with our hands in the air just enjoying the wind blowing in our hair. I think this is one of my favorite things. When we got to the bottom of the hill, there was a gentleman mowing his grass. The smell of fresh cut grass is another one of my favorite things. I felt about 12 years old tonight...with no worries and no responsibility! *Sigh*

So...it got me thinking about more of my favorite things. Here's what I have come up with:
*The sounds of children's laughter
*The crisp air of fall
*Laying in the bed with one of my daughter having "pillow talk"
*That feeling when you first realize that you love someone
*A bubble bath, a glass of wine, a good book, and no interruptions
*When my husband rubs my feet
*My favorite time of day is right when I get home from work. My husband is cooking dinner (He cooks because he is VERY good at it and I am VERY bad at it. Don't judge!)and the kiddos are talking about their day.
*The feeling of pride and accomplishment when you cross the finish line
*The sound of waves crashing
*The smell of my husband when he has just had a shower
*Snuggling up on a snowy day with my family, a fire, a good movies, and good snacks

I am sure that I could go on and on and on. I leave it there for now. I would love to hear what some of yours are. Please leave a comment below to tell me some of your favorite things.

Less of Me

So, first, I want to say that I am starting this couponing thingy and I am soooo excited. We had our first grocery store coupon trip today. I saved $10. Now, I know that's not a lot but it's a start. I have been reading up on the Internet today about it. I will share what I learn as I get the hang of it. I am learning that I can save up to 75% on groceries if I do it right. More to come on that later.

This morning I was cleaning the house before church. As I was cleaning, I was letting my mind wander to random thoughts. The one that I finally stuck on was that I wish that I could be a little less of me sometimes. I have a very strong personality. I have often thought that I wish that I could be less of me and more of what God wants me to be. I meet women who appear to have this peace and serenity about them. It's almost a calming effect, and it makes you crave time with them. Like, if you spend enough time with them, that whatever they "have" will rub off on you. Then, we went to church. The last song of service was a Jeremy Camp song called Empty Me. Below is the chorus to the song:

Holy Fire burn away,
my desire for anything
that is not of you and is of me.
I want more of you and less of me.

Hmmm...do you think someone was talking to me this morning???

BEST DAY EVA!!!

Ok, so...I am off work tomorrow...AND...it is going to be the BEST DAY EVA! I have been thinking about it, planning it, and dreaming about it. Now, it's not like I am a total workaholic or ANYTHING like that BUT...it's the first day off with no kids at home! That means: 1) it will be quiet, 2)anything that I clean will stay clean for more than 5 minutes, and 3)there will be no cartoony shows on!!!

These are the things that I want to do:
*Take my time with morning devotional and prayer
*Workout
*Get a pedicure
*Straighten up the whole house
*Hang out with my friend Rachel at her pool
*Go to the movies with my friend Cindy
*Hand out lottery tickets to strangers (This is for my Random Acts of Kindness challenge. I think it will be fun because it's Friday the 13th)
*Run some errands
*Clean out my office closet
*Plan next week's menu
*Make grocery list
*Make work schedule for next week
*Make budget for next week

Not sure that I will get all of that done but I definitely want to do all of the fun stuff FIRST! Then, if there is time, I will do the responsible stuff. It is Friday after all. So, I have the weekend for all of the boring stuff.

Oh, BTW, pray for us on Saturday. My hubby, my oldest daughter, and I are running a 5K. I am so proud of my oldest daughter for doing this!

Guess I need to go to bed so that I can be rested for THE BEST DAY EVA!!!

Perspective

Have you ever seen that picture where if you look at it one way it's a young woman but look at it a different way it's an old lady? To me, that's a good example of perspective. It's the old adage of the glass is half empty or half full. I think perspective is so important with the climate of our economy. It's very easy to allow the gloom and doom attitude to get you down...or running in fear!

Perspective is also important in relationships. Every person has his/her own beliefs that can contradict another person's beliefs. Does that make one person right and the other one wrong? Not necessarily. Often, arguments occur because each person's perspective is different. Once again, does that make one person right and the other one wrong? Maybe. It depends on the incident. Just because I BELIEVE I am right, doesn't mean that I am...and it doesn't mean I am wrong either. My hope is that, when faced with an adverse situation, that I can see another person's perspective. Basically, put myself in someone else's shoes. Hopefully, it will help me be more compassionate, understanding, and considerate to others.

The only thing that I ask is that you do the same for me.

Random Acts of Kindness

I have often been told that giving to others helps you take your focus off of your own problems. There's a lot going on in my life right now. So, instead of allowing these things to get me down, I am going to take this wonderful advice. One of my 2010 wishes was to perform one random act of kindness a day. Truthfully, I keep forgetting to remember this. Starting now, I am going to look and think of ways to commit random acts of kindness.

I know what you're thinking..."It's not random if it's planned". While this is true, I still think that ideas will help me to keep focused. For any of you that are reading this, I challenge you to focus on random acts of kindness. I also understand, when you do something nice for others, that you are not supposed to talk about it. However, I am encouraging you to report back with some of the acts that you perform. It will be interesting to see how creative you can get.

Below are some ideas that might help:
1) Pay for the meal for the person in line behind you at a drive-thru
2) Pull your neighbors trash can back to their house on trash day after it has been emptied
3) Pick up trash on the side of the road
4) Give a stranger a compliment
5) Let someone cut in line in front of you in traffic or at the grocery store
6) Leave a flower on someone's windshield with a kind note
7) Send a handwritten card to a friend letting them know what their friendship means to you
8) Buy a lottery ticket for a stranger
9) Stop and help someone whose car has broken down
10) Hand out water at the Greenway
11) Buy someone's meal anonymously at a restaurant
12) Give a huge tip when they least expect it
13) Compliment an employee to his/her manager for a job well done
14) Hug at least 5 people today
15) Compliment a colleague for excellence

As much as I would love to say that these are selfless acts, performing Random Acts of Kindness are a way of doing to others what you would like others to do to you. You know the saying...what goes around, comes around! Why not make positive things come back around to you?

***Here's the how to join the challenge: Become a follower of my blog and write a comment with your RAK.

Contradiction

I can be such a contradiction some times. I can be happy and sad at the same time. I can be confident and insecure. I can be brave and scared. What does that say about me? Is that how most people feel? Is that a woman thing?

I have made many big decisions in my life in the past 1 1/2 years. I am very happy, confident, and sure about these decisions. I am also sad, insecure, and unsure about them. Some times decisions that one makes in their life are difficult ones, and often necessary. The decisions that I have made have given me more peace than I have had in many years, and some times they keep me up at night. My mind and heart battle at times. Often, I have to listen to what my mind is saying to protect my heart. I am not one that can allow my heart to lead me. Yet, my heart leads me to make decisions.

Like I said...I am such a contradiction!

Stillness

I realized today that the only time I have stillness in my life and in my mind is when I am sleeping. One of my "wishes" this year was to start each day with prayer and meditation. Hmmmm...apparently I am failing on this one.

Everyone has internal dialogue. Often I wonder if the chitter-chatter in everyone else's head is as busy as mine. I can carry on an entire conversation inside my head without actually saying a word. Sometimes the dialogue is positive, comforting, and peaceful. Sometimes not so much! But...I am working on it. Remember, one of my wishes is being more positive.

Above all, I need stillness in my life. That relaxing, quiet time for nothingness. I have realized that I am a human "do-er". I want to learn how to just be a human "be-ing". Time to just "be" is what I yearn for. I want to have time to actually hear my thoughts, have time to listen to what God has planned for me, or time to listen to nature.

Now, where is that volume button to silence all of those voices in my head?

Sometimes family is what you make it

This weekend, I visited an old friend of which I lost contact for about 6 years. We had a wonderful time and only stopped talking long enough to catch our breath. It's amazing how I had not seen her for so long and we just pick right back up from where we left off. Neither one of us had any hard feelings or awkwardness for the lack of communication for so many years. We talked about EVERYTHING...and I mean EVERYTHING! I didn't feel as if I was being judged or misunderstood or like I was offending her. It was comfortable and relaxing. In short, I felt like love.

When my plane landed back at home, my husband and daughters were so happy to see me. They had truly missed me! What I realized is that they need me...not for what I do for them...but because they need my love. I would like to think, that when one of our family members is away, it feels like a missing piece to our puzzle. They love me because I am part of our family. We are a unit. I am part of them! That feels good.

Sometimes we don't grow up with the family that we dream of having. Sometimes our family loves us the best way that they can, but it still hurts. Our family may not "look" like what we thought it would be. It may be the family that you have created through marriage, children, or friendship.

Love shouldn't hurt. Love should be comfortable, relaxing, considerate, accepting, and free of judgement. In short, it should feel like love. And sometimes...family and love are exactly what you make them!

A few random thoughts...

First, I have really good news! I got on the scale today and it said...*insert drum roll*...165!!! Woohoo! Now, if you go by the 171 that I weighed when we got back from CA (for once the bigger number works for me!), then that means that I have lost 6 lbs. I am not noticing a big change in the way I look, and that's OK. I am so excited to see the number on the scale go down.

Next, my oldest daughter got her very first sports bra today. Oh my! She can't be that old yet. She was grinning from ear-to-ear. I, on the other hand, was not. How can my baby need any type of bra?

Finally, I am going out of town tomorrow to visit a dear friend that I haven't seen in YEARS!!! It was so cute tonight because my husband was a little sad to see me go. It's nice to know that he is going to miss me...maybe even be a little "lost" without me. That's nice. Just knowing that someone will miss you and likes having you around. As I get older, the little things are much more important and appreciated. Things like:
*Lying on one of my kids beds and just chatting
*REALLY true friends that love you no matter how much you weigh, how much money you make, whether you have a bad haircut, or you clothes don't match. True friends will still be seen in public with you! LOL
*Good communication with your spouse
*Being greeted at the door with sloppy kisses from your dog (or dogs in my case)

I guess just basically being loved. It makes me want to be a better person that is deserving of these things. It makes me want to be a better wife, mother, and friend. I know that the wonderful people in my life will love me no matter what but I still want to feel worthy of all of their love...and I'm pretty sure that I am! :0)

I hope it's worth it!

Today was my first day on my Weight Watchers plan. It sucked! I know...I'm not being positive. It's probably because I am sooooooo darn HUNGRY!!! The plan has me only eating 23 points a day.

This is what I ate today:
Breakfast: Protein Shake: 3 points
Lunch: California Chicken Salad w/1 oz. dressing: 11 points
Snack: Banana: 2 points
Dinner: Chicken Salad: 6 points
Glass of milk: 2 points
Total points: 24 points
***I rode my bike for 40 minutes so I got 2 FREE points so I ended the day with 1 extra point***

Ok, I don't know about you but I don't think ANYONE can live everyday on what I ate today. I know me too well...I will break by the end of the week. I will be so hungry that I will gorge myself with everything that I haven't had all week. Luckily, there are 35 points built in for the week. Meaning, you get 35 points to use however you want. I can eat all of them in one meal, one day, or spread them out throughout the week. However, once they are gone...that's it! I'm saving mine for my visit to my friend's house this weekend.

I'm going to the WW center in my area tomorrow. I must be doing something wrong. There is no way that I can eat like that everyday. Well, I guess I could...but I wouldn't have any friends left because I would be so mean!

I'm not real sure about this

I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting tonight. It was very interesting. Learning about the points and what foods I need to eat daily. Having a "road map" is very helpful for me. I wish that I could say that I already knew this stuff. Maybe I do and I just don't do it. Whatever the situation, now I have a plan. Have I mentioned that I am a planner? I am also a "recovering" perfectionist. It's very easy to let the details take over. I have to remember that "it's progress, not perfection" and take it "one day at a time".

Although my body feels stronger than it has felt in years, these extra 20 lbs that I have packed on in the last 12 months are weighing me down. (No pun intended! LOL) My fingers are crossed, I am wishing on shooting stars, and saying my prayers. Right now, I would be happy to just see the scale go down a pound or two and STAY THERE!

I have to admit, when I first went in there, I was hoping that someone would say that I didn't need to be there. No such luck! They weighed me and took my money with no questions ask. I really wish that this skinny girl in my head would go away because it's really confusing the person in the mirror.

The first mile is always the hardest!

I hate the first mile of every run! There...I said it! During that first mile, I feel like I have the devil (aka "Slacker") on one shoulder and an angel (aka "Cheerleader) on the other. The internal arguments can get brutal!

"Slacker" speaks my language! She is always trying to convince me that I don't have to meet my daily running goal or that I don't need to be running anyway. I mean, it's HOT out there right now! It's July...in the South!

Thank goodness for the "Cheerleader". She gently cheers me on by telling me to just run one more mile or telling me that "I can do it!". Sometimes it's as simple as make it to the speed limit sign, or the next telephone pole. Whatever "she" needs to do to keep me going.

This mind game usually goes on throughout the entire first mile, and sometimes the entire run. Luckily, the "Cheerleader" usually wins which surprises me because I see myself more as a "Slacker" when it comes to exercise.

As I am running today and thinking about this, it dawns on me that this "mind game" happens everyday in real life. We "see" ourselves a certain way. That becomes "who we are". Words and thoughts are powerful. What you believe and say becomes real. However, if we push ourselves outside of our comfort zone, it's amazing what we can accomplish. The hardest part is getting off the couch, putting on our running shoes, and challenging and believing in ourselves. Once you get through that first mile, it always gets easier. Whether or not we succeed is determined by which voice we listen to...the "Cheerleader" or the "Slacker".

Hmm...so to be honest

Yesterday is the first day that I have blogged since May. I was looking back at some of the other blogs (which I only have 6 others) and realized that I am slacking on my wishes. I am very proud of some of the ones that I have completed or am working on daily. However, there are so many that I forgot about. I have been told that you need to post these in areas that you will see them daily. So, that's what I am going to do...tomorrow! Just kidding! hahaha! See...I am a procrastinator at heart!

My next confession is that I am a sugar addict! There...I've said it! Now that I am attempting to reconnect with my inner athlete, I have been taking a hard look at my diet. Sugar is my "go to" food. If I have had a bad day, sad day, happy day...well, you get the picture! So, I have made a decision to give up sugar for 30 days. I want to see if I feel better, lose weight, etc. Today is day 2 and I am struggling. I miss my Debbie Cakes, Reese's pieces, cookies...*heavy sigh*! I feel like I have lost a dear friend. What is wrong with me?

Here's the part that I have been putting off. Although I have been working out AT LEAST 3 times a week (unless my doctor has me on exercise restriction) AND improved my eating habits (except for the sugar habit thing) AND quit smoking, I have not lost ANY weight. I have actually gained a total of 5 pounds. So...I am going to start posting my weight!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!! I am joining Weight Watchers next week. Hopefully, I will be able to report LOSSES. Ok, I keep putting it off. My start weight is 170 lbs!!! That hurt just to type it. Why is it so hard for me to report my weight but not a problem to report my age???

What I learned from our summer vacation...

We just got back from our family vacation to California. I cannot begin to tell you how excited I was for WEEKS before we left. I had visions in my head of sun, surf, and sand. It's all I could think about for weeks. Well...we get there...and...it's cloudy and cold in JULY! What the mess??? We actually had to buy sweatshirts and sweatpants. Our plane landed on Tuesday midday. By Wednesday, I realized that there would be no sun, surf, and sand. I am embarrassed to admit that I was depressed and snippy and angry! I stayed that way for the ENTIRE day. Then it dawned on me...I had WASTED one day of my long awaited vacation. So, I was at a crossroads. I could keep pouting about something that I could not control (I couldn't change the weather) or I could make "lemons out of lemonade". Luckily for all involved, I chose the latter of the two. Oh my...the fun we had!!!

First, my husband rented a Mercedes and we headed to LA. On the way, and at the last minute, we decided to go to Venice Beach instead. The girls had no idea what to expect next. We stayed at The Hotel California. Our headboards were shaped like surfboards. We then rented bicycles and biked down to the famous Venice Beach strip. Wow! There were so many interesting people down there. We saw a couple of sideshows, did LOTS of people watching, and ate some good food. At first, the girls were scared but, eventually, they adjusted. That night we went to the pier, played games, and rode the Ferris wheel. The next day, my oldest daughter and I went to Trapeze School! I would have NEVER even known about it had the weather been different. We had so much fun and took lots of pictures. Then, we went to Malibu for lunch and headed over to Hollywood after that. We went on one of those cheesy tours of the "stars' homes". We froze our butts off but had fun anyway.

That night, as I was tucking my happy, exhausted girls into bed, I realized what an amazing experience that we all had! If the sun had been shining, we would NEVER have gone on our "adventure". We would have just sat on the beach all day. Me: working on my tan and reading...My hubby: surfing...My kiddos: playing in the ocean by themselves. (Side note: the water in CA is too cold for me. My hubby would have gotten in the water and played with the kiddos) Mostly, though, we would not have had the quality family time that we experienced.

So, what I learned is...many times in life, reality does not meet our expectations. Many times, God has other plans for us. Sometimes we get lemons and they are sour! So, we have a choice to make: sour lemons or sweet lemonade? I thank the good Lord for helping us to choose lemonade and having such a wonderful family vacation full of amazing memories!

Thank you, God...literally!

During my run, I had an A-HA moment. I will be 41 very soon. Today is the 3 month anniversary of quitting smoking. After all of the abuse that I have done to my body, it is still so very strong! To think that in a 2 month period I trained and FINISHED a triathlon...at 40 years old. It amazes me that God has created something that heals itself...that corrects errors. Basically, that is forgiving. Don't you wish the human race was like that?

I recently had a physical with complete blood work. The news is not good...high cholesterol (good stuff is low, bad stuff is high) and high blood sugar. I am going back to the doctor on Friday to hear what she wants to do about this. I would love not to have to take medicine to correct the problem. I would love to say that I will correct it by changing my eating habits. I mean, I quit smoking...cold turkey (and with the help of God). That's where the A-HA moment comes from. For the first time, I realized that I am strong. God has blessed me with strength, forgiveness, a strong will, determination, and resilience. Those are the blessing that God has given to ME. Now, it's my choice to stop abusing what He has created!

My First Triathalon

Woohoo!!! I did it!!! I really did! I finished my first triathalon today. My goal was to JUST finish. My wish was to finish in less that 1 hr and 30 minutes. My time was...1 hour 21 minutes and 19 seconds! I finished the swim in about 7 1/2 minutes, the bike in about 37 minutes, and the run in about 30 minutes (give or take on all of those). I truly cannot believe it!

What amazed me even more was all of the friends and family that came out to support me. I had over 20 people there just to encourage me! I am overwhelmed! As proud as I am for finishing the triathalon, I am more proud of my wonderful family and friends that I have made. All of them stood out in pretty chilly weather waiting for me to come in from swimming...and biking...and running. I am sitting here smiling from ear to ear thinking about how proud I am for sticking to my plan and keeping my determination, but mostly because these wonderfully supportive people have chosen me as their friend...and that they think that I am worth getting up early to come out and cheer me on! Makes me want to do it again...VERY soon!

You really can't fix stupid!

Hmmmm...bet you thought that I was going to break Wish #12. Today was definitely a challenge. It's tough when you are truly trying to come from a helping heart with others and they just aren't 'getting it'. And, that's were I was today! I got to a point where I was nothing more than purely frustrated. Then I thought about my big plan for 2010 and my wishes. How could I turn this around to something positive? It's definitely something from which I can learn so that's a start. What could I do differently next time? Where did things go wrong? Sometimes it difficult to take a long, hard look at your own responsibility in situations. Today I did that. I was able to take a few great lessons away from the difficulties of the day. Lesson #1- Listen more...speak less, Lesson #2- Set expectations up front, Lesson #3-Sometimes we have to verbalize our intentions for people to understand where our heart is. These lessons can help me to make the changes that I am wanting for my life this year. I am loving my wishes. Just having them caused me to stop sitting in the negative and decide how I could turn this into something positive.

My love/hate relationship with...my scale

*Warning- Before reading this post, I KNOW that I am breaking Wish #12 (and possibly #11)*

So, I started this workout program called P90X about 3 weeks ago. I haven't done it perfectly but I sure as heck have been doing better than before. I am working out more consistently, training for this triathalon, and trying not to fill my body with all of the garbage that I have in the past. I quit smoking and everything! Well, this is where I get discouraged...I have GAINED 4 lbs! Yup, I said GAINED. I know what you are thinking...muscle weighs more than fat, don't weigh yourself all the time, it's how your clothes feel... Yada, yada, yada! I don't want to hear that! I want to see those numbers on that darn scale going lower. (Like that song, low, low, low, low, low <---who sings that song anyway?) Also, my clothes are feeling tighter. I have also tried to stay away from the scale but I always succumbt to it's chants and teasing. "Maybe..." I think to myself, "Maybe today will be the day that I will see the numbers going down". But no...I fall for it's false promise only to see the number rising like a thermometer on a hot summer day! I feel like that teenage girl with a mad crush on the captain of the football team. All I need is a smile sent my way (or one lost pound in this case) to make me love you! Someday, I will see those numbers falling. I will probably take a picture of it, frame it, and put it on my nightstand. Look up, my sweet scale, and smile!!! Until then, I hate you!

WHERE AM I???

So, I know that I just posted my first blog (make sure you read it first)...but I had to create a base, right? It's April...2010 started in January!!! Guess that shows that the "stop procrastinating" wish isn't quite working out just yet! Remember, all of these wishes were created in January but I am JUST now getting around to my blog. So, let's recap:



1)Begin each day with prayer and meditation (Not doing too gr-8. Just doing this about 3 out of 7 days.)

2) Choose a volunteer program and start volunteering (hmmmm...forgot about this one)

3) Journal (That's what I am using this blog for...and I have been posting on Facebook! Does that count?)

4) Exercise at least 3 days a week (Yay, me! I am doing this! It was very slow starting and inconsistent at first, but I'm doing it now)

5) Finish a triathalon (Signing up tomorrow for one that will be on April 18, 2010! I am so excited and nervous all in one!)

6) Stop smoking (With the grace of God, I quit smoking on February 11, 2010)

7) Pay off all debt except house (Paid off both cars in February so we are now debtfree except for the house...What a feeling!)

8) Invest more for retirement (Working on it)

9) Take a family ski trip (We went to Beech Mountain, NC in February)

10) Take a family trip to Costa Rica (Originally, this was supposed to be in June, now we are thinking more like December. We paid the cars off so we have to start saving again)

11) Be kinder (My intent on this one was not to be such a B$#@%! Hmmm, how am I doing on this one? I guess my family would be the best ones to ask. Truly, it depends on the day, if I am having a good hair day, if I found an outfit that made me look skinny, etc. Guess I REALLY need to start working on this one!)

12) Think more positively (See above)

13) Take more weekend trips alone with my hubby (One down...time to plan another one)

14) Stop procrastinating (You be the judge...It's April and I JUST started my blog!)

15) Maintain balance in all aspects of my life (I would rate myself a B on this one. I am still taking Fridays and Sundays off. However, I do cheat on myself sometimes and plan an appt on Friday. But I always bust myself! Still working on it)

16) Take a Zumba class (Forgot about this one too! I am setting a goal to do this by the end of April...Is that blowing #14???)

17) Sign up for Spanish lessons (I found a place that does this once a week. I will investigate this next week)

18) Declutter my life (Now this one is gonna have to happen one drawer/closet at time. I am not a total pig or anything. It would just be nice to have "A place for everything and everything in its place)

19) Stay on a budget (Did really well in February...but March was OUT OF CONTROL. April's budget was ready last week and we ARE sticking to it!)

20) Perform one random act of kindness a day (Forgot about this one also. Hey, if I do this, can I mark off #11 with it??? Kill two birds with one stone???)

Well, taking an over-all look at my wishes, I am pretty proud of myself. Are there areas that need IMMEDIATE attention? Yup! Have I done exceptional well in others? Yup! At least by blogging about it, I am able to keep track of the areas that need attention, as well as getting a pat on the back for the ones that I am proud of. Gotta go declutter a drawer or something...wonder if I can just put that off until later? Kidding!

2010 HERE I AM!

I have decided that 2010 is going to be the "year for change"! Instead of doing the traditional resolutions, I am calling them wishes. Why wishes? Well, a wish is just that...a wish! If I don't complete it by the end of the year, I don't feel like I have failed. Plus, wish sounds happier. So, here are some of my wishes for 2010:

1) Begin each day with prayer and meditation
2) Choose a volunteer program and start volunteering
3) Journal
4) Exercise at least 3 days a week
5) Finish a triathalon
6) Stop smoking
7) Pay off all debt except house, then start paying it down
8) Invest more for retirement
9) Take a family ski trip
10) Take a family trip to Costa Rica
11) Be kinder
12) Think more positively
13) Take more weekends trips alone with my hubby
14) Stop procrastinating
15) Maintain balance in all aspects of my life
16) Take a Zumba class
17) Sign up for Spanish lessons
18) Declutter my life
19) Stay on a budget
20) Perform one random act of kindness a day

I am hoping that this blog keeps me motivated, on track, and accountable. Should be an interesting year!