Living in Love

"Let your gentleness be evident to all" Philippians 4:5

My mission statement for 2012 is "Living in Love". I want to be more loving. I recently read the following prayer: God please soften the hard places of my hearth.

There are definitely hard places that are in need of being softened in my heart.

"God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love and sound judgement"
2 Timothy 1:7

The bible states that we are not to be fearful. Today I read both the Philippians verse and the 2 Timothy one. This is confusing to me and speaks to my heart at the same time. Gentleness and not showing fear feel like an oxymoron to me. Gentleness can feel like vulnerability...vulnerability can feel like weakness...weakness can feel like fear. However, I love how God put this out there for me to see it. If I want to "Live in Love", it will take a fearless spirit to show my gentleness.

I asked God to take my life and use me for His will...to help me by emptying me of me & filling me with Him. Basically, help me, Lord, to let go of my control on my life. Help me by speaking to me and guiding me for Your plans for me.

Then I read Isaiah 48:17:
"I am the Lord your God
Who teaches you what is best for you
who directs you in the way you should go"

From today's devotional , I got the following: gentleness, fearlessness, and allow God to teach me. If I release my control and allow God to guide my life, He will show me how to be fearlessly gentle.

Wow...powerful stuff! How blessed am I to be loved by a God that speaks to my heart so that He can smooth over the rough spots?

Be still

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God"~~Psalms 46:10

A little over a year ago, I felt God speaking to me...asking me to be still! I felt that He had a specific plan for how this was to look. It didn't "sound" right to me. It didn't fit into "my plan".

However, here I am...at the place that He wanted me to be...with His plan complete. I am in awe of His power, His glory, His grace, and His mercy because I didn't make this easy. I was disobedient...argumentative...bargaining...and at times, down right bratty! I am exactly where he wants me!

What is different now than before is that I am not hearing what His plan is from here. I just keep hearing "Be Still". For a "Human Do-er" like me, it's hard just to be a "Human Be-ing". I don't listen well...I find something else to do...I run! So now I am nursing a foot injury...I have no choice...

...I don't do well sitting in quietness...in stillness!

I guess His plan is BE STILL...know that I am God...

...I am still curious to see how this plays out!!!

Stillness

I realized today that the only time I have stillness in my life and in my mind is when I am sleeping. One of my "wishes" this year was to start each day with prayer and meditation. Hmmmm...apparently I am failing on this one.

Everyone has internal dialogue. Often I wonder if the chitter-chatter in everyone else's head is as busy as mine. I can carry on an entire conversation inside my head without actually saying a word. Sometimes the dialogue is positive, comforting, and peaceful. Sometimes not so much! But...I am working on it. Remember, one of my wishes is being more positive.

Above all, I need stillness in my life. That relaxing, quiet time for nothingness. I have realized that I am a human "do-er". I want to learn how to just be a human "be-ing". Time to just "be" is what I yearn for. I want to have time to actually hear my thoughts, have time to listen to what God has planned for me, or time to listen to nature.

Now, where is that volume button to silence all of those voices in my head?