Day 2 of 30- God Moments

"I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord" Jeremiah 24:7

I am truly blessed to be surrounded by people that hear God speak, experience His grace, and are willing to share these experiences with me. Today I am thankful for:

God Moments!
(This post has nothing to do with the lake but this picture just "felt" like God to me...peaceful and serene)

My husband has a hereditary eye disease called Retinoschisis. As he ages, his eyesight is deteriorating. Reading in the mornings is becoming more difficult for him...maybe because his mind/eye connection is not "awake" yet. That being said, he was feeling frustrated and sad this morning when he struggled to read something. Yesterday, he and I went for a 3 mile run. During this run, we met a blind gentlemen who was taking a morning walk. After we said "Good Morning" to him, his response was "Good Morning! It's nice to see you today"! Wowwwwww!!! Talk about perspective! My husband remembered that moment when he was struggling this morning. He felt that it was God speaking to him that things could be worse! This was his God moment that he shared with me!

I was then speaking with my best friend whose father is slowly dying. This friend is caring for her father and experiencing some wonderful moments with him right now. However, there is one subject that she needed to talk to him about and get affirmation and closure on. She has been hesitant to bring it up because it felt negative. Last night, they were sitting around talking about everything. He brought up a subject that opened the door for her to be able to state these feelings that she was having. They were able to talk about it in a gentle, kind, and loving way. He was so wonderful to affirm her and she now has closure on this matter. It was almost like God spoke to her father and said "She needs this conversation". That was her God moment that she shared with me!

Again, I feel so blessed to have these people in my life...to remind me to look for and experience God's love. There are times that we don't hear His voice...but His actions speak deeply to our hearts.

Thankful Thursday

Often I think about how much I have to be thankful for...it's hard to narrow it down to only a short list. Here are a few that are closest to my heart and mind today:
1) Cooler weather and sunshine!

2) A husband and friends that make me laugh and "get" me and my crazy sense of humor...in short, I am thankful for laughter!

3) Conviction...I love how God's gentle reminders help to keep me in line...and out of trouble!

4) Flowers...I am definitely not gardener but I planted these flowers last summer. I had no idea that they would come back up this spring...and then again at the end of summer! They're like the flowers that just keep on giving!!!

5) I just finished my last Half Marathon of the year! I love to run but I'm tired after 6 Half Marathons this year...

...even though I am already trying to figure out when and where the next one will be...I have my eye on a very special medal!

What are you thankful for today?

Mindshift

My 2011 race schedule is coming to an end. I have enjoyed spending this year training and racing. All the hard work and excitement has been building up for THE race...the one race that I want that PR! The Middle Half!!! My goal (and hope) is to finish under 2:00...I don't care if it's 1:59:59!

HOWEVER...

I met with my coach today...

The conversation went something like this:
Him: How do you feel your running is coming along?
Me: Good
Him: How's your foot?
Me: It hurts...and now I am getting this little knee thing
Him: Hmmmm
Me: What are we going to do to get me ready for the Middle 1/2 with these things? I REALLY want that PR.
Him: Well, I want to encourage you to shift your mindset.
Me: Huh?
Him: When we run, we need to glorify Him! He is the reason that we are able to run. I want you to consider that this is not the race for that PR. I want you to consider that God has other plans for you with this particular race. When you run this race, I want you to listen to your body but also pray for his guidance. He may have something that He needs from you to glorify Him. It may be the PR that you want, or it may be something totally different. (Oh, and he said that he doesn't want me to run with anyone or with any music)
Me: Hmmmm

So, this has been on my mind and in my heart since this conversation. At first, I wanted to cry. My heart and mind were focused intently on THIS race and THAT PR. At first, I felt like I was giving up.

After spending some time thinking, replaying his words, and praying, I feel differently. I don't know what all of this means. I don't know what this looks like. What I do know is that I agree with my coach. If it were not for Him, I would have never had the ability to stop smoking. If it were not for Him, I would not have laced up my running shoes for that very first run. If it were not for Him, I would not be able to run...at all! If it were not for Him, I would not have this life that blesses me. If it were not for Him, I would not have these AMAZING people in my life to speak these tough truths to me.

If his plan is the PR, that would be gr-8! If not, then He has something better in mind. It may be something so subtle that I would have missed it if...

Not for this mindshift...

And THAT would be the true tragedy in this...

...To miss seeing HIM in action!!!

Hmmmm....

....to be continued!!!

Through your eyes...

Well, I am finally trying to find my way back to the blog world. This "writer's block" shut me down. I would think about blogging but just couldn't follow through. So, here I am...hoping that I can do it again.

As I was looking over my 2010 Wishes, I realized that there were so many things that have changed in my life the past year. The fact that I FINALLY kicked the smoking habit is my most proud moment of the year!!! It hasn't been easy but I am amazed at how much my life has changed by making that ONE change! In my next post, I want to go over my wishes- which ones that I accomplished and which ones that I didn't. I also have a HUGE plan for 2011 that I want to share. In this post, there is something else that is heavy on my heart.

Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine. She was saying how she wasn't where she thought that she would be at this point in her life. She recently went through a divorce, is now a single mom, works part-time and is going to college to finish up her degree. She has many friends that are married and/or already in their careers. She made a statement about how she feels that I have it all together. She thinks that my house is so organized, that I have a successful business, a husband that loves me, good children, etc., etc. Wow!!! Is that how my life looks from the outside???

If so, then I want to be the person that she sees through her eyes!!!

Side note: I want to say that I am so proud of my sweet friend. She is not taking the easy way out! Her life is tough right now but she is not giving up! She is doing what she needs to do to make a better life for her boys and herself. She is sitting back and allowing God to make the changes in her that HE wants. All of this to say...I am so proud of her and cannot believe the changes that I can SEE every single day! Her transformation is amazing...but she is already a beautiful butterfly!

The point that I am wanting to make with all of this is the grass always seems greener! The truth of the matter is that we don't know what REALLY is going on INSIDE that person's life. Most of us present a pretty package to the outside world. Society teaches us to keep our "garbage" to ourselves because no one wants to see/hear it. For the most part, I agree. I mean, you don't want to walk around all gloom and doom or complaining about every part of your life that needs to be fixed. There is a fine line between being REAL and being socially acceptable.

I typically choose friend that allow me to be REAL. Between my husband, my kids, and my business, I don't have a lot of expendable time. With that time, I want to spend it with those who are willing to be REAL, not just present the "pretty package" to me. My FRIENDS know me...the REAL me...warts and all!!! What makes that even more special is that they still love me!

So, no...I don't have it all together! There are so many areas of my life that need to be decluttered and organized. (Please don't look in my closets or drawers if you come to visit!) Often times, I am a mental mess! I have a million and one thoughts going through my head at any given time...and many of these thoughts contradict one another. I don't think that anyone has it ALL together. I do think that some people have their life figured out more than others. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. These last two years have been the toughest of my adult life. However, I am so thankful for the trials and tribulations that I have gone through. God has really broken me down...and continues to do so daily. I can feel him molding me and building me back up to be the person that HE wants me to be.

Hopefully, some day I can be the person that you see through your eyes, my sweet friend! Some day...

Stillness

I realized today that the only time I have stillness in my life and in my mind is when I am sleeping. One of my "wishes" this year was to start each day with prayer and meditation. Hmmmm...apparently I am failing on this one.

Everyone has internal dialogue. Often I wonder if the chitter-chatter in everyone else's head is as busy as mine. I can carry on an entire conversation inside my head without actually saying a word. Sometimes the dialogue is positive, comforting, and peaceful. Sometimes not so much! But...I am working on it. Remember, one of my wishes is being more positive.

Above all, I need stillness in my life. That relaxing, quiet time for nothingness. I have realized that I am a human "do-er". I want to learn how to just be a human "be-ing". Time to just "be" is what I yearn for. I want to have time to actually hear my thoughts, have time to listen to what God has planned for me, or time to listen to nature.

Now, where is that volume button to silence all of those voices in my head?

You really can't fix stupid!

Hmmmm...bet you thought that I was going to break Wish #12. Today was definitely a challenge. It's tough when you are truly trying to come from a helping heart with others and they just aren't 'getting it'. And, that's were I was today! I got to a point where I was nothing more than purely frustrated. Then I thought about my big plan for 2010 and my wishes. How could I turn this around to something positive? It's definitely something from which I can learn so that's a start. What could I do differently next time? Where did things go wrong? Sometimes it difficult to take a long, hard look at your own responsibility in situations. Today I did that. I was able to take a few great lessons away from the difficulties of the day. Lesson #1- Listen more...speak less, Lesson #2- Set expectations up front, Lesson #3-Sometimes we have to verbalize our intentions for people to understand where our heart is. These lessons can help me to make the changes that I am wanting for my life this year. I am loving my wishes. Just having them caused me to stop sitting in the negative and decide how I could turn this into something positive.