Sometimes I forget...

I am a busy person...I can be a perfectionist...I can be an overachiever...I am a type A personality...

It is easy for me to forget to stop and smell these:

After almost a year of praying about it, we have decided that I will take a semi-sabbatical! My mind needs a break. My kids need me to be present! My priorities have shifted...THEY have become #1! Somewhere along the way, I forgot!

And...I have LOVING every minute of it!!!

The other morning I went for an early morning run. I laced up my shoes, plugged in my earbuds, and off I went. But something happened...

I noticed this...

And this...

And this!!!

About midway through my 4 mile run, I unplugged the iPod and listened...to the town wake up!!! I heard the birds chirping...watched the drivers on their way to work having that first cup of coffee...the college kids dragging themselves to an early morning summer class...the campus workers starting their day...but most importantly...I noticed! Sometimes I forget to notice life around me.

I thought that I was doing this because my family needed me...now I realize...I needed them...to help me to remember!

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Why I Run...

I often get asked "Why do you run?". Good question...without one easy answer. So...I have decided to give 10 good reasons why I run...

#10- Because there ARE people chasing me...they are called the COMPETITION!

#9- Because I am (almost) 42 and I can!

#8- Because there are so many cute running outfits to buy!!!

#7- Because it doesn't matter whether I come in first, last, or in the middle...I HAVE CROSSED THE FINISH LINE!!!

#6- Because running makes me push myself farther than I thought that I could go!

#5- Because it gives me a reason to travel with my friends!

#4- Because it makes me a nicer person!

#3- Because I want to teach, by example, these 2 sweet girls that GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING THEY WANT TO DO!

#2- Because I want to be around to celebrate many more wedding anniversaries with this guy!

#1- Because my Father has blessed me with the ability to run...I want to make Him proud!

Well...that's new!

Today there was a triathlon at the university in my town. It consisted of a 400 yd. swim, 10 mile bike ride, and a 5K run. I participated in this same race last year. So, basically, been there, done that, no problem, right?

Here's where the weirdness starts: Weirdness #1...I woke up this morning and did not want to do this race AT ALL! I have never not wanted to participate in a race. So, all morning, I was trying to psyche myself up to do this thing. Weirdness #2...Normally, I have so much adrenaline right before a race, that "nervous energy" that gets me started. This morning-NOTHING, NADA, ZIPPO...total flatline! Weirdness #3...THIS IS THE BIG ONE! I started the swim, and QUIT after 2 laps. Yup, you are reading this right...I QUIT!!! I simply could NOT continue! I climbed out of the water and did the "walk of shame" to my husband and my daughters!!!

Here's the good part: I told my hubby what happened (which was basically, that I had freaked out in the water and couldn't breathe). He said "Well, what do you want to do?" I had a choice to make. I could just hang out and root my sweet friend Mary on...or I could get back in there!

I decided to get back in there! Luckily, the race company started my time all over, and I completed the race! I have to give the credit to my wonderful God who gently said "I will be with you" and "I will not leave you".

So, I could give you my multitude of excuses...

...the truth of the matter is that I just had an "off" race day! As a "recovery perfectionist/overachiever", that is REALLY hard to accept. I have extremely high expectations of myself. I felt like I had let myself down...that I didn't do my best. I had a HUGE helping of humble pie today...and it didn't taste too good! However, now I realize, I DID do my best...I did my best for TODAY'S race. Hopefully, the next race will be different!

*Added plus- my daughters were able to see their mom struggling through a tough decision. Without using my words, just my actions, I hope that I taught them a very valuable lesson today!

In case you were wondering, my original goal was 1:15. Last year's time was 1:21. I finished this year in 1:19...2 minutes less that last year! I'll take it!

Stupid dreadmill!!!

We had 4 miles on the training schedule today...and it snowed! So, I had a choice to make: skip today's training or take on my nemesis...the dreadmill!!!

All day long I had been dreading it, anticipating it, and avoiding it! My attitude was horrible ALL DAY LONG! I was grouchy and hateful...all because of a dreadmill! Then I remembered reading something about changing your mindset about things that you dislike, and you might just end up liking that thing.

So...I decided to try it. Each time that my mind started thinking about how much I hated being inside "running in place", I would change my thoughts. I would concentrate on my pace, think about my breathing, etc. I would also increase the speed and challenge myself to go longer at that pace than I thought that I could.

Truth is...the verdict is still out! I did it...I ran the 4 miles! That is much longer than I have been able to do before...so changing my mindset did help. I am not in love but I did like the feeling of accomplishment.

Now, if I can just change my mindset on vegetables...

Forward or backwards...which do you want?

I was talking to a friend today and she made a statement that I have been considering all day long.

It was: "Nothing ever stays where it is because you have to either move forward or backwards".

As much as I know this to be true, it kinda makes me sad. Oftentimes when we go through a particularly rough time in our life, we come to a comfortable, peaceful place. When this happens, I want to stay here...FOREVER! I want to bask in the serenity of this place. For once, I want to live in the moment!

However, I know that it won't last forever. I know that God will give me another challenge to suffer through and grow. I know that I will be in a "desert season" again. God doesn't want us to get stagnant in our journey. He wants us to grow.

I also know that if I choose not to move forward and grow, then I am really moving backwards. Who wants to go backwards? Back to learn tough lessons AGAIN, back to open old wounds AGAIN, back to yesterday...

Not me! I also realize that if I move backwards, and everyone around me is moving forward, then I am going to get left behind. I DEFINITELY don't want that!

So, I will enjoy this moment...this time of peace and serenity...because I know that change is a coming!!!

Living in the moment...but looking at the future

I stated on my last post that I wanted to look back at my 2010 wishes to see how I did. So, here it goes:
1) Begin each day with prayer and meditation (not as consistently as I would like but definite improvement! My relationship with God is increasing daily and I LOVE it!)
2) Choose a volunteer program and start volunteering (Mostly accomplished this through my hubby's "Handyman Ministry"- would like to improve this next year)
3) Journal (Definitely improvement! Not perfect but definitely better)
4) Exercise at least 3 days a week (Yes! Woohoo!)
5) Finish a triathlon (YES!!! So proud!)
6) Stop smoking (YES!!! This is the one that I am most proud of!)
7) Pay off all debt except house, then start paying it down (YES! Working toward saving more and paying down the house)
8) Invest more for retirement (Hmmm...not so much!)
9) Take a family ski trip (Yup...and it was a blast! Thanks sis for the use of your cabin!)
10) Take a family trip to Costa Rica (We are leaving on December 29th until January 6th- SO EXCITED!)
11) Be kinder (I definitely believe that I have improved a lot here)
12) Think more positively (Most days!)
13) Take more weekends trips alone with my hubby (We took 4 weekend getaways alone! Yay, us!)
14) Stop procrastinating (Truthfully, not much improvement here...maybe next year)
15) Maintain balance in all aspects of my life (ABSOLUTELY!!! Now, I crave more family time)
16) Take a Zumba class (Not yet...but I still have 24 days left in the year
17) Sign up for Spanish lessons (Uhhhh...no beuno)
18) Declutter my life (Hmmm...somewhat...I'll add this to next year also)
19) Stay on a budget (Better, much better)
20) Perform one random act of kindness a day (I did really poorly on this one! Maybe next year?)

So there it is! I think that I will give myself an A- because the ones that I did accomplish are HUGE! I think 20 wishes are too many. I need to narrow it down for next year. In general,though, I am pretty darn proud of myself!

Now...looking at 2011...we have created a challenge for ourselves that I am so very excited about. We have named it the "Charity Challenge of 2011". Basically, we (hubby and I) are competing in one race event for each month of 2011 AND raising money for a charity throughout the year. I am so excited!!! We already have our preliminary schedules ready. We have been praying about the charity for a couple of weeks because we REALLY wanted God to guide us on this. We have considered numerous charities. Finally, we feel that God has lead us to FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes). We asked God to send us signs for discernment. We got many signs leading us to this organization. We feel that it is a way to give back to our immediate community. Also, we are doing an athletic challenge so it seems to make sense that we would support a Christian athletic charity. It just "feels" right...and that feels like discernment to me! Please continue to pray that we are listening to God's guidance.

(I thought that I would attach a copy of my preliminary schedule.)

Through your eyes...

Well, I am finally trying to find my way back to the blog world. This "writer's block" shut me down. I would think about blogging but just couldn't follow through. So, here I am...hoping that I can do it again.

As I was looking over my 2010 Wishes, I realized that there were so many things that have changed in my life the past year. The fact that I FINALLY kicked the smoking habit is my most proud moment of the year!!! It hasn't been easy but I am amazed at how much my life has changed by making that ONE change! In my next post, I want to go over my wishes- which ones that I accomplished and which ones that I didn't. I also have a HUGE plan for 2011 that I want to share. In this post, there is something else that is heavy on my heart.

Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine. She was saying how she wasn't where she thought that she would be at this point in her life. She recently went through a divorce, is now a single mom, works part-time and is going to college to finish up her degree. She has many friends that are married and/or already in their careers. She made a statement about how she feels that I have it all together. She thinks that my house is so organized, that I have a successful business, a husband that loves me, good children, etc., etc. Wow!!! Is that how my life looks from the outside???

If so, then I want to be the person that she sees through her eyes!!!

Side note: I want to say that I am so proud of my sweet friend. She is not taking the easy way out! Her life is tough right now but she is not giving up! She is doing what she needs to do to make a better life for her boys and herself. She is sitting back and allowing God to make the changes in her that HE wants. All of this to say...I am so proud of her and cannot believe the changes that I can SEE every single day! Her transformation is amazing...but she is already a beautiful butterfly!

The point that I am wanting to make with all of this is the grass always seems greener! The truth of the matter is that we don't know what REALLY is going on INSIDE that person's life. Most of us present a pretty package to the outside world. Society teaches us to keep our "garbage" to ourselves because no one wants to see/hear it. For the most part, I agree. I mean, you don't want to walk around all gloom and doom or complaining about every part of your life that needs to be fixed. There is a fine line between being REAL and being socially acceptable.

I typically choose friend that allow me to be REAL. Between my husband, my kids, and my business, I don't have a lot of expendable time. With that time, I want to spend it with those who are willing to be REAL, not just present the "pretty package" to me. My FRIENDS know me...the REAL me...warts and all!!! What makes that even more special is that they still love me!

So, no...I don't have it all together! There are so many areas of my life that need to be decluttered and organized. (Please don't look in my closets or drawers if you come to visit!) Often times, I am a mental mess! I have a million and one thoughts going through my head at any given time...and many of these thoughts contradict one another. I don't think that anyone has it ALL together. I do think that some people have their life figured out more than others. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. These last two years have been the toughest of my adult life. However, I am so thankful for the trials and tribulations that I have gone through. God has really broken me down...and continues to do so daily. I can feel him molding me and building me back up to be the person that HE wants me to be.

Hopefully, some day I can be the person that you see through your eyes, my sweet friend! Some day...

More couponing tips

I guess you can tell that I have been avoiding blogging lately. It appears that I have a bit a "writer's block" and I'm not even a real writer. So I am making myself blog tonight to try to get over it.

I have really been studying and doing this couponing thing. Last week, I saved right under $100 on grocery items. We don't eat a lot of processed foods so I think my initial plan of cutting our grocery bill by 70% may be a little ambitious. However, I am good if I can cut it by at least 50%. I am including toiletries and household supplies in my grocery bill. I want to add to the "couponing tips" list that I blogged last time. Here are a few more tips to follow when couponing:

*Do not use the coupons in the Sunday paper on the day or week they come out. Typically, these items will go on sale in about 2-3 weeks. That's how you get the most bang for your buck.

*Sign up with www.southernsavers.com and www.savingwithamy.com. These two websites will send you the best deals each week and how to combine the coupons to get the most bang for your buck.

*You can use one store coupon and one manufacturer's coupon on one item. The Publix near me will accept all store coupons not just Publix.

*Introduce yourself to the store manager at the store you plan to shop and ask him/her to explain the store's coupon policy. Often times, the manager can make the policy. So, policies can vary from store to store.

Hopefully, I will get past my "writer's block" soon and will blog about the changes taking place in my life right now. Until then...enjoy the tips! I would love to hear about any couponing successes this week. Send me a comment below!

What a wonderful day

It's Friday which means it's my day off! I LOVE taking Fridays off for many reasons. The main one is because I get the house all to myself. It's quiet! The TV is off! I have taken the past 2 Fridays to thoroughly enjoy my morning time and also get some "special" cleaning done. During my morning time today, I made a wonderful breakfast and ate it while reading from my Sony Reader. Then I cleaned the downstairs. My "special" cleaning was pulling the stove out and cleaning under it! Ewwww! It's a gas stove so, luckily, I didn't explode the house.

Then I went to my couponing class tonight with my friend. LOVED IT!!! So, my first tip to everyone is gather your coupons. There are many ways but here are a few:
*Go to the stores and pull all of the coupons from the isle in those "blinking" machines. These coupons are actually referred to as "blinkies".
*Get the Sunday paper. DON'T cut all of the coupons out. Put a sticky note on it with the date and put the whole coupon insert in an accordion file.
*Go online to various websites such as coupons.com. There are printable coupons online. If you have certain products that you buy, google coupons for them. You can find a coupon for most all products.

Now these are just a few ideas. I have other websites and ideas. I'll post more later.

Last, tomorrow is the HOT 100. This is a 100 mile bike ride. However, you don't have to do the whole 100 miles. I am riding the 33 mile route and my hubby is doing the 66 mile route. Keep us in your prayers!!!

Please post a comment below!

Being REAL

First, I gained 1.2 lbs this week. *Sigh* It really stinks but I can't change it...so...I am accepting it and moving on. Two factors worked against me this week: 1) I didn't do very well with my eating plan. I had way too many "treats" and way too many carbs, 2) I worked out more than I have been. One is a good thing and one is not so good. But, like I said, I am moving on. I can't change the past. I can just do better this week.

***Warning: This is me being real! If you can't handle it, stop reading now.***

I am a recovering perfectionist and control freak. Most days I do pretty well. Other days I revert back to my old ways. Last night at church, our leader talked about leaving old behaviors, hurts, "baggage", and anything else that God asked us to leave behind. If God asked us to do something, that we should do it on trust and faith in him alone. We should not ask why but we should just do it because God is our leader and we are his followers. We should follow on blind faith. That his plan is better than ours and he knows what he is doing. Well, if you know any perfectionists and/or control freaks, that's not easy! Our leader asked us to take some time and meditate. At this time, she prayed and asked us to ask God what he wants us to leave. Because I still "slip" up at times, I took control and started asking God..."Do you want me to leave this? Oh, or is it that? No, it's probably this" (you get the picture). Then a soft voice says to "Shut up". Oops, sorry God! So I sit there quietly, trying oh so hard to sit quietly, and listen for Him. Finally, he says "Get out of my way". Huh?

My hubby and I have been out of sync lately. His business is slow right now. I think he should be doing X,Y,Z. When he doesn't, I am let down. A couple of weeks ago, we had strong "discussion". I realized that I have certain expectations of "what a man should be and do". He finally said to "Write it out for me. Let me know what your expectations are." What I also hear, not sure what words were used, was that he may not agree or be able to meet my expectations but he wants to see what they are.

Now, with all of that being said, I realized that I was trying to be God. I wanted him to be my version of man. So, God was kindly asking me to "Get out of His way" because He had work to do and I was messing it up. So, as hard as it will be for me, I am going on blind faith. I am going to trust that God can do what I can not. I'm scared...because I can't control it. I am scared...because I don't know what is on the other side or how it will "look". But...I am going to trust because he really does know better than me.

If you are still reading, please leave a comment below.